Lagos School Evaluation Continued

(4) Lagoon Babes
Someone gased these yos up big time. I dont know who told them that they were the bonzest thing walking but they used to act like they were. I think its because their skool fees were high that was shacking them. Okay so here we have a brand new school that didnt really do jack as per reputation wise but when you see them outside see beddguy to the max. To grab an example from my girl vindication through innocence these babes where on that "Oh hey wassup? I didnt even see you." I seened it happen yall. But I gbadun lagoon babes for one thing sha, they can call enhhh! I dont think any lagos boy didnt receive a call from any lagoon babe in his lifetime. Slater's yard was a frequent recipient of Lagoon callers. It was always guaranteed at least once any week especially during that dulling period of holidays. I think say one of these babes used to live in my estate because as soon as NEPA takes light its guaranteed this particular lagoon babe was gonna call. As soon as light comes sha and I happen to be on the phone, the yo would just yarn that she got something doing. The disrespect!!! But the babe never left her name men. Infact none of the lagoon babes ever left their names, (at least 4, at least!). I talked to some of my boys and they got the same thing. It was like lagoon babes were just using the stuff to play, teasing niggaz and shit, never willing to go the whole nine yards. Same issh at parties, sorta like chilled and not mingling with the rest of the folk. They made it to the gig sha unlike A.I.S peeps but when they got there they were sorta like A.I.S peeps, own their lonesome.


Rep level- So the general gist is that these chicks were reserved, remote, dull. Yeah dull I said it, it had to be said. Still though, on average they were fine. Real talk, second only to school number 5. Infact Ahall boys flooded the zones at one point and if you can lure ahall boys, you gotta be doing something right.
So the final score is a 72. It coulda been much much higher if them shorties had left their numbers.

(5) V.F (Vivian Fowler)

Haaaa, See fine girls en masse. Nobody fit yarn anything. Even the naija babes reading right now have to concede that V.F blew them out the water. As in they took banger and knockout and used it on them. V.F babes were so fine that you people stopped asking if she was fine. "This guy I met one babe like this. Is she fine? Omo, shes V.F. Ahhh thats too mad oo". Its true men. Rumour has it that in the school handbook it reads "fine babes only, ugly babes should go to Q.C." Okay I'm lying but their junior babes had to plait their hair on a weekly basis as per by force. Thats serious hardguy if your school mandates that you have to fineup!
I didnt have that much experience with them myself but I remember back in my estate back in the day. One fine V.F babe used to stay just a few houses from the Slater mansion. Now for the folks who lived in estates you know how cant be seen my a chick from another school and you wont be fully reppn? If just by chance that i'm getting dropped off at school in the fine car I'll just pull out that my good mixtape, the one that I dubbed from radio and tried to erase the radio station name, and just start planning with Mr Moshud (my driver) how and when we're exiting. "Oyah, Uncle, we'll leave at 7.30 And abeg lets take adeola way not the usual road. why? its because its shorter now. Shey you want water or something. Anything at all. " But if we're on the datsun men fashii. You'll think that there was traffic close to her house, we no go pass deir again
Thats how it was with V.F babes men crazy. And if they jamme your school for some foolish school function, see guys just killing themselves to look fresh. For the record I always put out my good uniform on those days. You know how you have some with a few holes here and there, some that have shaaddd (faded) , some that are a bit too tight, some that are too baggy (You know that there was just one tailor for the private schools in Lagos. The one in Surulere, they really dealt with us. Just sewing nonsense there!) etc

Rep Level- Aiight Lagoon Babes were fine but is that enough to the see them top Ahall? Your school rep level has more to do with the most popular individual in your school than your actual school and for the life of me I cant seem to name a V.F babe off the top of the dome. This chicks didnt throw parties men and thats the long and short of it! However Q, who has finally surfaced after gbenching a yo or two, has assured me that they were on some solo get-together stuvvs, invite only. Now you the know the scence in movies where some guy takes another guy to a club and then they enters some backroom like this, do one kine korna korna and then end up at a totally different zones that's less crowded but with way more babes who are just eager to please? (if any guys reading this are like this, make you holla. I go fly down straighttt!!!) Thats how Q says it was although instead goin thru one underground zones it would be one crazy mansion like this. Thats how I like it sha, low key stuvs. So low key that my handsome ass self didnt know about such things. Ca sha (credit to Vindication through innocence), I still gbadun that kind stuvs. If you've been reading you'll know that hardguy is effortless flossing, nobody should know your're flossing. These babes' hard guy was soo much that they didnt even want you to know that they were flossing. But they still had rep. So in a shocking display of "ashewo-ism" not seen since the days of Slater and gang oggling chicks on Adeola Odeku, I am forced to present them with a earth shattering score of 87.62

(6) Q.C babes

As i've been saying I've been waiting for Q to land. I jammed the guy yesterday for the crew's weekly session of library pimping. The whole crew consists of the your boy Jack Slater, Q the enforcer, "that nigga Dave" and Reggie. Steady pimping ho's in the library yall. (there might be a blog). Ca sha I asked Q about Q.C and heres what transpired.
" Omo, whatever you do, make sure you rank Q.C last! Those babes are useless. I remember one day like this when we went to go and watch the girls basketball team play them. When we got to the place, be like say Hurricane Katrina don land Yaba. The place was filthy men, as in disgusting. No windows in the classes, about 300 in a class,garbage all over the zones. And then we now saw the babes! Yeyyyy! Mo gbe! Ive never seen so many chicks with sideburns myself. I was about to go and buy razor for the whole school. See what they now did at the end of game. They started throwing stones at us. Can u imagine? what a bunch of razzites. Do u know how much their school fees were? It was like 5000 Naira, that's like what about $50 dollars or 25 pounds. Whats that? No seriously whats that?
At that point in time a white chick we like to call big booty ho passed by. Big booty ho because she has a big booty and ho because well, we're men. Thats the law of things when you hang wit the squad.
Well me I dont know about all that but I did hear the rumour about a bunch of them raping their gateman (or ice cream, depends on who you hear it from) to death! Yes yall, thats the rumour. That some guy in the general area was raped to death. Theres also some gist I heard about how it was a normal thing to see babes pleasuring themselves with cokebottles and stuff in the boarding house. Dont shoot the messenger is all i'm saying.

Rep-level- taking into account Q's experiences and the stories Ive heard and have no choice but to award them a "Slater might be killed soon" score of 65. I'm sorry yall but I aint heard one positive thing about you, not one. I'm sure there were babes there but the ratio musta been pretty bad. At most 3 %.( We did the study, u guys think say we dont do real work at Jobless U). My hand was forced yall it was forced.


Other Skools

Adrao- one skool like that
Adesoye- see above
Olashore-" "
Dowen College- rich ass spoilt kids,exactly the same as the featured skools but werent in the public eye at all
Igbogbi College- This one was for my popsie " Ahhh Igbogbi college, thats a great school oo." Me:(enhhh?)
St Gregs- for my popsie's friend, Uncle Sule
Ijaniki- Heard madd stories from my boys as in mad. You guys should ask about Sly.
Isolo-see above
Isl- just because of that lag connection
Oxbridge- Iused to think this place was in jand they way that bridge used to sound till I found out it was some small zones in Ikeja. They used to do levels because most of their mates had gone abroad to school, and you know naija now, you cant be rolling with your juniors now. For why? Its not needed.

The rest

*For further reference please visit http://www.nigerianschoolsonline.org/ (and they say I dont research)