Lagos Schools' Rep Evaluation

Yeah so I completely revamped the title. When I was midway through the first written version I soon realised that I was dishing out school reputation as determined by student hard guy level. Confused? You shouldnt be. Once you see the graph you'll know what I'm talking about.

Lemme restate again that these are from MY high school days, mine! And me being of "the sneaking out of the house when I could" mould, this thing is going to be heavily skewed. However, I'm still gonna try and be vigilant in awarding scores.


Things to note:
i) My highschool days = mid to late 90's era (when how rich you were was determined by the size of the dish on your roof)

ii)The concept of diminishing returns.
Basically we're assuming there is an optimum amount of every continuous action, and too much or too little of that action is not good. For example lets look at hunger. There's an optimum amount of food you're supposed to eat, too little and you're still hungry, too much and you're too full. So there's an optimum amount of hard guy. Too little and it hurts your rep, too much and it still hurts your rep. Capish! (For those of you wondering what your maths degree can get you, this is what your future holds, linking mathematical concepts and silly mannerisms of yesteryear. We are so dead.)

Aiight then , lets go.


AMERICAN INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL (A.I.S)

Omo see nonsense oooo. Which kine hard guy be this? Did anybody see this people? Shey u fit recognize thier school uniform sef? Shet men levels deyy levels deyy. These guys didnt step out of their houses oo. Be like say to school and back that was their whole Lagos runz. I used to imagine what it would be like goin to school there, ketchup and burger for lunch, nice fresh yankee textbooks for every class, white girls called Becky and Jenny asking me to speak pidgin for them etc Chai! Shockingly I met one A.I.S babe over here oo. This one no be naija at all. She was a mix of something, boya white and latino but she was foinneee! We were yarning now and I was laying my pimp game quite flat as usual when we got into the whole naija thing. She was now naming all the Lagos places that she used to touch cause Jack Slater wasn't buyin that whole naija babe steez. At least not with that accent. Well we thank God that I saved up all the cash from Aunty Jumoke's wedding so I could reach After hours (formerly Oceanview) otherwise, I go dey ask for passport next.

That's why when me and my guys got invited for one A.I.S basketball tournament like this we come dey celebrate. The thing was like you couldn't just show up at A.I.S like that otherwise see gating. Pick up your siblings ke? Pickers!!! You needed a special invitation. That's why me and my boys dey hi5 ourselves when we heard the news that we were going (details are sketchy but I think say I hit up L.O.P to buy a new pair of basketball shorts...to oppress you know).

Omo when we reached see basketball court. Shet men!some NCAA type stuvss. I swear the shit threw me off my game. Okay I'm lying because your boy was chopping benching, as in madddd benchingg men. Funny enough I played recently with the guys that used to be on my old high school team and your boy put it down. Put it down! Be like say Jack Slater was Kobe Bryant and the rest of these guys were the raptors. Real talk!

Sha Sha we exited in the final after a great left bench performance from your boi. But while we were there sha, awon A.I.S people no send our side. I shoulda mentioned that they were two courts, the NCAA and the outdoor one. The outdoor one was for like non A.I.S involved games so we dey outside most of the time. The Coach said make I do head cheerleader cause nobody was watching our games men ("READYYY LETS GO"). But the shocking thing was that not even one A.I.S suzie came out. Not one! Its not like we were ugly guys or anything (I swear we're not) but a girl shoulda come to say wassup or shoot the shit or whatever.

Rep Level-This is where the diminishing returns comes in. A.I.S peeps musta been cool now, but to be so cool to the point where you exclude yourselves from the rest of Lagos? Not good.There musta been fine ass white girls in there but we'll never know cause we didnt see them. So their hardguy levels although high, had a counter productive effect on their school's reps. Them get party ,them no go invite u, U get party, u no go invite them, that type stuvs. In short Awon guys jawed Lagos and Lagos jawed them. This one cant help your rep now. Therefore I am forced to award them a rep level of a porous 67


K.C BOYS

Hood. What did I say, "hood!" K.C boys fit do anything anyhow, they fit slap from V.I to Ikeja and back no shaking. I remember in my school now, when awon guys used to see nuff guys wey dey any car. Peeps would just be like "ahh K.C boys don land again". Even now sef we still dey yarn am. Not too many of my guys get car here so when we all wanna ride out we just yarn "make we pull that K.C move".

And again K.C boys dont do fresh guy for their school (clearly derivative of the fact that their all guys in one school) and when they step outside men, same issh. As in not a good look. Their shoes come dust up finish like this. The worst thing was when Jack Slate would manage to sneak out to a party. Cause I dey outside most of the times (Slate couldn't just breeze in you know) K.C guys come go dey shout and push so they fit enter party. "ahhh Segun now, get me in now abeg this guy annnh annhh now". Not the hardguy way u know.

But I still gbadun K.C guys sha. If I could go to high school again na K.C Slate would ask for. U know why? These guys were real men. How many K.C boys do you know that dont know how to rack? As in lets say you dey outside and shit happens would you rather a K.C boy or a "school number 3" boy to be in your corner. All that hardguy stuvs is not necessary these guys were just being real. Forget all that one of going to class and finding shit in the desk, the fact that most of these guys were not on the bedguy tip is maddd commendable. I heard one yarn like this about how awon obtainers were vexing oppressing K.C boys.Word is that the obtainer got his ass beat the fuck down.It was shacking me that I wasnt involved sef.

Rep level- For all the heat that K.C boys used to take these guys used to throw live parties. As in, K.C boys throwing a party was a very big stuvs , second only to "school number 3". And again, I know some chicks that were tripping over K.C boys. Even though the stereotype is that they were not too good looking (no homo) the law of numbers ordains that they were some diamonds in the ruff. Add the way I gbadun their whole keeping it "real attitude" and I am pleased to present them with a score of 79.5



ATLANTIC HALL

Oyah, where do we start? Everything we know about hardguy came from here. Everything. Come and see beddguy to the max. These ahall people had lagos by the scruff of the neck back in my day. "Ahall boys are throwing one parry my guy, we musto land". That was the regular thing my boys used to yarn. Even though chances of gating we're absurdingly high we were ready to do anything for an Ahall gig.

Have you guys ever seen Ahall boys outside a party before? As in lets say someone slips up my mistake and doesnt allow awon guys in. Ahall boys wont wait by the gate ooo, push and shove ke? My guys will just go back to their bonz ride that is conviniently packed close to the gate where u fit see them. Meanwhile, you that you're trying to get inside the party will fashi the hustling you were doing and now be watching the a fantastic display of alpha male-dominance. To top it all off, somebody will now come from the inside the gate and escort them inside. The shit used to do us and the K.C boys like film-trick.

I get one boy here,ex Ahall boy wey teach me everything about hardguy. Q, as we dey call am,was yarning one babe. There was a bit of an arguement goin on sha but check the ting wey my guy yarn after e don comot for phone

Q:look at that stupid babe, telling me that I'll sleep alone tonite. As if its her cooch.

Thats how ahall boys yarn o. As if they own everything. Babes now used to love them untop! Can u imagine? I swear one Ahall guy came and dumped on our school grounds and walked off. Babes were now misyarning that "ahh dont touch it oo, it was an ahall boy that did that, does anyone know him here? Can I get his number". That kind ting. Fuck them niggaz men!

Rep Level-Sha sha with all their hardguy stuvs, the diminishing returns sets in. As per check this, if a babe is hollering at any guy, most guys should probably jaw for a bit which usually works (F.Y.I you cant show too much interest in a babe at first. If you do she'll know from jump that u're into her and will play you for a sucker. The Jack Slater way). Now an Ahall boy will probably jaw unto the point where the babe is not interested anymore. Counter productive. I havent said much about Ahall girls, (How could I? They jawed Jack), but the research didnt prove too fruitful.Like their babes werent all that. Well not as all that as one of the schools that I have yet to write on. The guys? Probably the same thing but their parties were amazing and you couldnt see them outside not being fresh. I think it was their blue and grey uniform, that uniform take style fineeee.

With that said Ahall receives a "coulda been higher" score of 84




Still to come - Queen's College, Vivian Fowler, Lagoon and a few others. Also I'll hopefully edit this one.